The Side of Hermione You Never Wanted to See
by Rachel Hunt
Summary: Hermione being really scary. And I think it’s hilarious. Then again, that could be the fact that it’s three in the morning AND I've had coffee, which I never do, so I have no tolerance for it. Now discover the side of Hermione you never wanted to see.


Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to Harry Potter. No Potter fan paraphernalia not even copies of the books. Especially not rights to any of the potter-dom. ((although I really wouldn't mind owning Draco…. **smiles evilly and chuckles**))

Genre: Humor/Drama

Character: Hermione

Title: The Side of Hermione You Never Wanted to See

Summary: Hermione completely OOC, for the purposes of a laugh. And _I_ think it's hilarious. Then again, that could be the fact that it's three in the morning as I write this, AND I've been drinking coffee, which I never do, so I have no tolerance for it. Now read on, and discover the side of Hermione you never wanted to see…. **fades into the night cackling madly**

Hermione entered her room late that night, creeping in so as not to disturb the sleeping girls. Quietly, ever so quietly, she laid her book-bag on her bed and opened her trunk. After rifling through its contents for a moment, she found the small black velvet bag she'd been searching for, oddly conical shaped.

Grinning fiendishly, she took the bag with her down to the common room, where she wouldn't wake anyone.

She sat down in an overstuffed, very plush chair and simply stared at her bag for a moment, an odd little smile on her lips. Stroking the bag with one long finger, never opening it she was muttering in a sing-gong voice. 

"I know you don't like it in there. But you must realize it's for everyone's good. You must stay in there a while longer, until you have learnt your lesson. Will you have learnt your lesson?"

Hermione quieted and stared into the fire meditatively. It struck odd glints in her deep brown eyes, sparking against their gold flecks, making them appear molten. That combined with the serenity of her expression made her look really and truly mad.

She sighed, as if disappointed. She lifted the bag level with her face, looking sad. "I don't know that you will have. I don't know if you'll ever learn your lesson. You did some _very_ bad things, you know. Very, very bad things. Will you do them again, say those nasty things?"

She shook her head and cuddled deeper into the chair, like a contented cat. Crookshanks was in fact sitting on the arm of the chair, his long bushy tail twitching at the tip. His squashed face was fixed on the very same item as that of his mistress.

"Oh, Crookshanks…" she stroked the ginger fur distractedly, staring at the floor and not seeing it, those strange glints still in her eyes although she no longer looked at the fire. "You know why I must do this, don't you? Of course you do… You always were smarter than Harry or Ron…" She sighed again, biting her lower lip.

She smiled, staring at the floor, following the invisible path of something no one else could see. She turned her head back to the velvet bag, and slowly, she untied the dark string that drew it closed. Almost as if she wished to savor every moment of it, she opened the top of the bag, and slid the soft cloth down the glass sides of the jar inside. Crookshanks shifted with interest, keeping his eyes fixed in a frighteningly intense look upon the contents of the jar.

Hermione peered into it with an equally frightening look, except hers was lucid and dreamy while also intense. Drawing her finger down the glass side in an oddly sensual motion, she crooned, "Oh, I think you would go back to your old ways… I _know_ your kind." She giggled, a high-pitched sound no one had heard from her before. "Oh, Rita…" She drew silly putty from the pocket of her robes, rolling the malleable form between her fingers to soften it. There wasn't much left. Out of the many air holes in the tin lid of the jar, only a few were still unplugged.

Inside the jar, a small black beetle long antennae and odd markings was shaking its tiny head vehemently, four legs pounding furiously against the glass. One might have thought they heard a high-pitched: "HELP ME! HEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLPPPP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!" if they'd been close enough.

Hermione cackled, in the same high-pitched way she had earlier, and slowly, precisely, filled another whole.

Ron shuddered from where he and Harry watched, unseen, on the stairway. The two boys hurried back to their room, shaking.

Ron said to Harry, very pale, "_Really_, really remind me never to make her angry."

From downstairs in the common room, Hermione slowly turned to look at the staircase, and smiled.


End file.
